The universe in March 2025 gave me a lesson to lessen some of my naivetes and optimisms, as well as a reminder to always “tether the camel”. I’ll be the first to admit I was reckless and inattentive, and got away very luckily in a situation that could’ve been much worse. Beyond that, my vigilant (and likely hyper-active) mind is also producing some interpretations and stories. Or, maybe it’s a tiny incident and common travel experience not even worth thinking about for 10 seconds.

I was staying at an ashram – my preferred housing whilst in India when possible—in Kanpur, investigating the abilities of a fairly popular guru that came highly recommended. The ashram checkin crew was surprised that I didn’t opt for their private rooms or shared rooms, rather the no-charge huge hall with dozens of people sleeping. I’ve quite embraced this wandering sadhu lifestyle. If you’re interested: it cost 50 american bucks to stand in front of the guru for 5-10 minutes (well, kind of: he was behind a glass wall [I gave the benefit of the doubt as it was a/c’d and streaming online, but still felt a bit weird]), and receive some inaccurate statements about me having migraines and the easy cold-read that I sometimes have sexual thoughts while meditating. I forgot to ask the refund policy when booking.

Halfway through my morning yoga/stretching routine the second morning there, done 3 meters away from the 1 inch foam pad I slept on, I saw someone laying directly next to my sleeping area, despite the massive room being 60 percent empty. When I heard the faint clanging of the travel cup that’s attached to my money belt, my awareness was sinking with my stomach faster than a bungee jumper plummeting off their platform. I nonchalantly walked by as he nonchalantly laid there, then when he reached toward the belt again and looked at me, I shook my head violently.

Next I casually packed my bags and grabbed my belt last. Sure enough, the pocket with approximately 500 or 600 rupees – about 6 or 7 US dollars – was empty. Thank the good lord that he only made it into the ‘loose change’ pocket, not the US dollars area that also housed my passport and a hefty percentage of my nearly-spent current savings.

After showing him the empty pocket of my money belt and pointing to the loose rupees near his waist, his lack of English and my non-Hindi made communication extremely difficult. Rapidly realizing he wasn’t just going to come clean, I decided to play the spiritual card, which I thankfully believe. I channeled my inner Al Pacino, pointed my finger very close to his unflinching face and thundered throughout the massive hall “BAD KARMA” three times. English speaking support soon materialized, and his continued denial shocked me.

Management agreed to check the security cameras after his adamant denials, and I definitely wanted to:

a) Not have a big scene made as the only westerner at this ashram, and didn’t want attention or drama,
b) Practice empathy: as management had said, the guy clearly had significant mental problems,
c) Act on the fact that I had better uses for my precious dwindling life energy than standing here and arguing,
d) Acknowledge the not unreasonable voice in my head reminding me that it was 5 or so bucks;

so I decided to go for a run and drop the whole thing. After an hour-plus jog through the farm fields of this non-affluent village – and an almost significant wrong turn I thanked the good lord again for google maps—I showered, lunched and returned back to grab my bags.

To my surprise ~ nay ~ disbelief, the thief was casually sitting outside the big hall. I thought I’d had the incident totally processed; but this seemed like an opportunity or demand from the universe to yet again cease practicing my nice guy ways and stand up for injustice. I went to management, which had now shifted from the morning crew, and told them this man had stolen from me. Someone overhearing us joined the conversation and informed them that the guy had also robbed another person after me later in the morning. Afternoon management confronted the man, then talked to his family, who they told me also had mental problems. I shared my belief that ashrams weren’t an appropriate place for mental health problems, and at minimum should be a safe enough place where theft should be punished. They told me the family would be asked to leave, but after a half hour I saw no evidence of that, and soon it was my time for departure.

I humbly resigned to letting the karma fall on the guru – as it was his ashram, and I had certainly done the best I could. No more mr. nice guy.

What lingers in me from this incident is the look in the eyes as the thief stared me down and said that he didn’t take my money. Bone-chilling doesn’t properly convey the ice cold look in his eyes as he stared at me, loading tobacco into his mouth. What are you gonna do? I am beyond fear, beyond remorse, and very far beyond you. Soul chilling would be more accurate: experiencing the reality this man was living in, or at least was expressing to me with an unfathomable conviction.

Sociopathy is defined as being without a conscience –no sense of guilt or shame. It’s estimated that 3-4% of the population has it, and multiple clinicians have concurred that the guy who stole everything from me is most likely a sociopath.

So here I was in India – with what appeared to be a miniscule little fraction of a similar incident of the huge hurricane of destruction that tore through my life in 2022 from the guy and whose shambles it feels I’m at the beginning of cleaning up ~ wondering if I made the right choices, toward my goal of resolving this karma with sociopath thieves.